Saturday, October 10, 2015

Contempt of Worldly Honour - St. Teresa of Avila


On the contempt of worldly honour


When our Lord begins to give some degree of virtue to a soul, it ought carefully to Cherish it, lest it run the risk of losing it; this holds good in matters relating to our reputation and honour as well as in many others. For we, who think ourselves to be entirely disengaged from all things, are often not so in reality ; hence we have great need to be careful in this respect, — for if any one still feels any concern for the point of honour, let him believe me that his soul is bound by a chain which no file can sever, but the grace of God, united with prayer and our own endeavours; and this chain seems to me so strong, that I am not surprised that it so greatly impedes our progress. I know some persons whose actions are so holy and sublime, that we cannot help regarding them with admiration, and exclaiming, "O my God, how is it that such a soul still cleaves to earth, which does such great things for Thee?" I answer, some point of HONOUR holds her down; and, what is still worse, she is unable to perceive it; and that because the devil makes her believe that she is obliged to take care of her honour. But let such souls listen to me; for the love of our Lord, I beg of them to believe me, a poor little miserable ant, whom our Lord would have to speak in His name; let them be assured that unless they free themselves from this caterpillar, though it may not destroy the tree entirely, because some other virtues perhaps remain (though worm-eaten), yet it will never become a beautiful tree, nor will it ever flourish itself — no, nor suffer any others to flourish that grow near it — because it will not bear the fruit of good example. I say again and again that any attachment, however slight, to the point of honour is like a false note in the playing of an organ, which spoils the whole harmony. This is an evil which does harm to the soul in. every way, but in the life of prayer it is a very pestilence. For in that life of prayer we endeavour to unite ourselves to God by following the counsels of Jesus Christ, Who was loaded with injuries and false accusations, and yet, at the same time, we wish to be very careful of our honour and reputation. But we shall never arrive at our journey's end but by the same road along which our Lord travelled. Our Divine Saviour will not dwell in our soul unless we endeavour to correspond with His grace, by giving up in many things even that which is our right. But some, perhaps, will say, “I have no opportunity in matters of this kind to give up any thing for His sake." I believe that our Lord will not suffer any one who has such a desire to lose so great a good, but that His Majesty will so order things that he will have more opportunities than he as yet desires of gaining this virtue. Let us all, then, put our hands to the work; for I wish to inform you that some of those miserable nothings which I performed, mere straws, fit for nothing but to be cast into the fire, were all accepted by our Lord : may He be praised for ever! Amongst my other imperfections, I had very little knowledge of the Breviary, or of any of the offices of the choir ; and this arose from my being so careless and given to vanities: while, at the same time, I saw novices who were able to teach me. I did not ask them any questions, for fear they should discover my ignorance; but shortly afterwards, a good opportunity was presented to me — and this favour is usually granted by God. So when He had opened my eyes a little, I asked — when I was in the slightest doubt — the youngest in the house to inform me ; and, so far from thus lessening myself in their esteem, I rather rose in their opinion. Our Lord was pleased to give me a better memory from that time. I was also a bad singer, and I was troubled at it, not from fear of making any blunders in the presence of God — for that would have been a virtue — but because so many heard me; and thus I was so disturbed, purely on account of my reputation, that I really acquitted myself much worse than I need have done. Afterwards, I thought it better to tell the sisters plainly, that I could not sing well, which was really the case. At first I had some difficulty in doing but afterwards it became a pleasure to me; and thus it appears that when a soul begins not to care about her faults being known, she is able to do her duty much better. And when I renounced this unhappy desire of honour, which I fancied I could acquire in singing, I began to sing much better than before; and thus, when we perform such poor little acts as these, His Majesty is pleased to give them worth and value, because they are done for His sake, though in reality they are nothings — and I am sure I am nothing. He also enabled me to advance in humility, by seeing all the sisters advance except myself, for I was never good for anything ; when, however they left the choir, I would stay to fold up their mantles, for it seemed to me as if they were Angels, who were there singing the praises of our Lord. This I continued to do till they came to hear of it; and then I was not a little ashamed, for my virtue was not so far advanced as to be willing that they should know this practice of mine: not because I was humble, but only lest they might laugh at me, because I was still so completely good for nothing. 
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. . . Whenever we think of Christ we should recall the love that led him to bestow on us so many graces and favors, and also the great love God showed in giving us in Christ a pledge of his love ; for love calls for love in return. — St. Teresa of Avila

Image: ALL IS VANITY - Vanitas by Antonio de Pereda y Salgado



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